around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
