This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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