only if we run a train.
done.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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