So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
