Whod you bang
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
