Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
