when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
