If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
