Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
