i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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