I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And then my night got REAL pukey
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
