I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We talked him into tasing himself.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
