Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
