:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize