I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
In America we eat man semen.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
