i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
