Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
