Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
