i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
