Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
