so that wasnt chicken after all
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
