I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
