id be glad to
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
