Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
