You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
