dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
