capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize