my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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