I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
