totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
