you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
