Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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