i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
youre lurking in front of me
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
