i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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