I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My feet surprised me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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