We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
