You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
