Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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