when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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