take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
