Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
