I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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