eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
