We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
