So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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