Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
