Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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