Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
