Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
