If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize