I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
