they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You are the jesus of drinking
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
