you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
