He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
