You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
