What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
