if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
