kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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