I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
