what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize