Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
