whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
